加油吧，朋友！

很久没有更新部落格了， 我都忘了部落格的密码。我试了两天，终于进来了。
我是看了朋友的部落格，突然有些想法。人总是很矛盾，总是你看我好，我看你好。我很想往自由的生活。可是，自由的代价是要面对孤单，恐惧以及充满未知数的将来。我一直很羡慕她可以这么潇洒，到不同国家体验各种生活。看了她的部落格后，才知道做这个选择是需要很大的勇气。如果没有家人与朋友的支持，我想这条路会走得很辛苦。但是，如果可以追求自己喜欢的生活，再辛苦也值得吧。这种生活虽然有它的吸引力，但要付出的代价也很大。朋友，加油吧！希望你可以放胆的追求自己理想的生活，不要被现实打乱你的脚步。

原来幸福是短暂的。认清楚是件好事，不需拖拖拉拉。
你想要的我不能给，我想要的你不能配合。
我并不觉得我要求的多，可能是你太大男人。
或许，需要时间考虑彼此需要的是什么。
到底，我们在彼此的心目中有多重要。
至少，现在在我心中有很多问号。
也许，你也一样。
开始怀疑你之前所说的话。可能那是追求的手段吧。
我也希望是我猜错了。
给大家一点时间，合得来就继续，合不来就分开吧。

幸福

我想自己是幸福的。开始时是我想太多。
也许你在对的时间出现。
现在的我和几个月前的想法很不同。
喜欢一个人要跟着心走，而不是条件式或冲动式的。
说不出喜欢的理由，因为喜欢一个人不需要理由。
只要觉得自然、舒服就好。
谢谢你，让我真正体会什么是爱。

Bad thoughts, Go Away!

Things did not go smoothly as expected. It seems everything went against my will. When things happened, I didn't have choice but accepted as what it was. If I didn't calm down and thought positively, I would go crazy or devastated.

I am afraid of hoping something when it does not exist. But the problem is I always imagine things that does not exist. I planned something, it was all in my mind, I didn't tell anyone if it did not work out. And I got dissappointed when the plan can't be fulfilled. I guess I am paranoid. I hope I can stop it, but it is in me. When there is some thoughts in me, I will try to focus on other things, and thoughts will be gone.

Temptation

Oh, The Temptation from Steve V on Vimeo.

This is so cute. I can't stop laughing, and I am feeling better after watching this.

Unsatisfied

It's seems like everytime when I post an entry I am moody. I admire other's life, their life are so contented and live fully to their life. They are happy, always put on beautiful smile, they love what they are doing and having.

What am I lack of? Why am I not happy? I try to do things that make me happy, but it doesn't last. I enjoy dancing and baking. I love doing these. I feel flattered when people said my movement of cha-cha or salsa steps are beautiful. I feel satisfied when people tasted my cake, cookies and scone, and said they are delicious. I admit I like attention. But I don't this just for attention, as these are what I like.

Maybe, I am lonely. I think I am growing older, and people around me urge me to get a partner. I got stressed when I hear too many of these conversation. I pretend to smile back and tell them not to worry about me. My standard is too high, the right one has not appeared. Is this really true? 50/ 50. Am I really set a high standard? I believe in feeling. When things come right, even he is poor or different races, I won't bother too much.

I told my friends, maybe I will stay single if I do not meet a right one. I don't have the confidence to have a life partner. It's so "temporary" to me. It comes and goes, and never stay long.

I don't really share what I really feel with friends, there are only one or two that I can open myself with. I always think I don't need a lot of friends, keep a few who really care for me, share each others' happiness and sorrowness. That's why, I do not have a lot of good friends, cos I don't develop a deeper friendship with them. However, I envy those who have a lot of friends around, they seems very happy together. What a dilemma, I actually hope I have a group of friends who can do things together.

Apologizes

It's not easy to apologize, it need courage to do so. I feel difficult to apologize or even to praise others. I don't feel natural or comfortable to do this. I guess this is why I do not have a lot of close friends or I am not popular. I always think I should not do things to please others if I don't feel comfortable.

I finally realize that I have to do something to build better or good relationship with others. I need to make a habit to praise others, to apologize whether or not I am wrong. Gradually, it will become very natural without forcing myself to do so.

I have made initiative to apologize, even though I don't think I am totally wrong. You can't use your mindset to think how other people think. To change others, you have to change yourself. I have done my part and it's up to her whether she want to mend the relationship. Deep in my heart, I knew we will never go back to the "old days".